Murder and the Call Center
If by love we mean stabbing a woman 35 times until she's dead, then people in India love too much. The Hindu reported this morning that on Tuesday evening two young call center employees, a man and a woman, shared a car home. The man, Kishore, professed that he was "madly in love" with her, but that she needed to mend her "high-lifestyle ways". Aparently the girl, Tania, was friends with other men, and Kishore wanted her all to himself.
So he killed her.
He stabbed his "love" until she was little more than a bloody pulp and then disposed of her body in a river. He tried covering his tracks by sending out SMS messages to her friends saying she was living for Bengal, but the police soon caught on and arrested him on Thursday.
A murder is a murder is a murder, right, why write about it? People kill each other over love all the time, why is what happened in Bangalore any different? The scary thing is that it isn't unusual at all. With so little outlet for socializing with the opposite sex at a young age, people across this country tend to obsess over first person that they have any chance at romance with. If the romance doesn't work out--the least stable of the lot tends to resort to violence.
The violence takes many forms--sometimes making a mere stabbing look like the warm embrace of progressive politics. Besides revenge gang rapes, shootings and burnings, it is getting increasingly common to use acid to get back at an offending woman.
But don't take my word for it. Do a Google search on "acid attack girl India" or check here for a recent story in the Deccan Chronicle of a woman who spurned a man's advances and was doused head to toe by an acid thrower. She died only a couple days later.
While India is pushing forward in technology and business at a steady clip, there is a wide gap between the economic modernization and positive changes in gender roles. Tania, the murdered girl, was accused of having "high-lifestyle ways" and talking with other men, but Kishore couldn't take it. Though they both worked at the same call center--the symbol of modern India--he couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that new economic roles for women mean that they have to occupy a different social position as well. She probably wanted to hang out with friends, drink coffee at local stalls, peruse the glossy shops on Brigade Road and perhaps, if she was really "modern" try a sip of alcohol once and again. She was working for money, and probably wanted to spend it in the same ways that men are allowed to.
Kishore, and a lot of men like him, can't accept these changes. Though there was no indication in the article that they were actually in a romantic relationship, he probably wanted her to be a stay at home kind of woman who worked and then brought money back to her family for her father to spend for her. One day, if they had ended up marrying one another, he would expect her check to go to him.
These sorts of stories have shown up in newspapers for years. Love murders aren't one time events, but social problems that need to be tackled. For every person who flies into a murderous rage over "high-lifesyles", how many men don't go that far, but only beat the woman, or call her derogatory names, or fly off the handle enough to make her miserable? My guess is that it is a lot more than you think.
posted by Scott Carney @ 9:37 AM
11 comments
11 Comments:
Scott, good point. I've heard too many men say such-and-such girl is the only one they ever thought of "romantically" etc. Most of them never consider the possibility the girl may not have the same view of them.
I'm much older now, but in my early 20s, I met somebody who became obsessively interested in me. He would call very often. I was alarmed at the tone of these conversations and asked him to stop calling. He could not understand my response, and started calling more often. Ultimately, I asked my father to intervene and the calls stopped. I was unhappy to ask for help, since my father encouraged his children to take their own decisions, but in this instance, I realized he would be taken more seriously.
Looking back, I don't blame that person for not understanding his actions were hurtful and frightening. I do blame our society that will not allow young people to be friends and interact more so they understand enough not to obsess over the first person they find attractive.
That's the problem with most of the India men.
They expect the woman they love to start worshipping them, doesn't matter whether she would even known his name or not.
I don't have an idea, I think the reason lies with the movies, the strong male roles, bordering on male chauvinism, and females doting on him, I think is a major cause.
But if you think why would the movies show that's not in the culture? May be both feed off each other.
Time to change the gender roles in India, we are starting but have a long way to go.
While the murder is shocking, apparently the women was not just leading a "high-life" style. She was involved in prostitution.
http://sify.com/news/fullstory.php?id=14258700
Comment irrelevant to the topic here. I enjoy your take on different aspects of Chennai - it gives a foreigner's perspective for a Tamilian. Would like to hear your opinion on the public transport. Why don't you ride the PTC bus once during peak hour and give your experience? [Warning: Don't carry anything valuable with you]
The Sify story, if it is true, does add an interesting twist to the story, but I don't think it has any bearing on the general state of men in India falling obsessively in love. Infact, my guess would be that Kishore wouldn't even have known about the arrest if they had met in the same office. Why would she disclose that information to her collegues?
Even so, maybe I should post something about prostitution in Chennai and Bangalore.
Scott: I've been following your blog for a couple of days now... fascinating. Spent 20 days in India in June, 5 of them in Chennai.
Interesting place - not quite as nice as Bangalore, but better than Hyderabad.
Is there prostitution in Chennai? It seemed a pretty conservative city to me.
"The Sify story, if it is true, does add an interesting twist to the story, but I don't think it has any bearing on the general state of men in India falling obsessively in love."
There's no obsessive in the West, or anywhere in the world? Come on Scott, don't kid us!
obsessive love, I mean
"Is there prostitution in Chennai? It seemed a pretty conservative city to me."
Not as conservative as it's portrayed. Why, haven't you heard about prostitutes in Varanasi?
Sure there's obsessive love in teh West. Lots of it in fact. But I think it is a lot more of it here in India. Men and women just don't socialize enough here so that for the most part the only male female relationships are familial (mother/sister/aunt etc..) or romantic (wife/girlfriend).
While you may have friends who are women, when you walk down the street with them, do you think that the people there look at you and think "oh they're just friends", or do they think you are dating?
In america it could just be friends. Not so sure about here.
Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site. Keep working. Thank you.
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