Missing Passports and Ignorant Police

A few days ago I left my passport on my desk after consulting it for some information. Not thinking much of it I left it there and went about my daily routine, and then this afternoon I noticed it was missing. My wife and I spent the better part of three hours combing every nook and cranny of my apartment, but our search came up empty. Realizing that there was a chance that it would never turn up again, I drove down to the American embassy to report it missing.

After talking with the officer there she told me that I couldn't apply for a new passport without a police report and directed me towards the nearest police station. So begins the tale of my trips to seven different police stations--each time an officer directed me to another office. While I am pretty used to the ol' Indian bureaucratic rigmarole, I've never had been shuttled about quite so much as I was today. I went to Nungabakam, Annanagar, Roipetta, Kilpauk and Kilpauk-6, each time they said they couldn't issue me a report because, well, it just looked like they didn't want to.

Finally, in the police station closest to my home they had me hand write a report that was pretty much the first paragraph of this entry and then smiled and laughed at me.

"Passports don't just disappear, it had to be stolen," said K. Sridhar Babu, an officer with several stars adorning his shoulders. Then he said, "It must have been your Indian wife, if nobody else was in the house it had to be her."

Then he said something in Tamil that brought the rest of the attendant officers into a chortle.

Since the station is only a few blocks from my house they must have seen me driving around town occasionally with my wife on the back of my motorcycle. She is also an American, but of Indian descent.

But what does my wife have to do with my missing passport?

For the next twenty minutes I pleaded with them to stamp the handwritten report they asked me to write out, but they just shook their heads and told me to come back some other day. Then the all began to laugh at me again.

So now I am back here at home wondering what it takes to file a police report. Without it I have no way to apply for a new passport, and stand an outside chance of being deported.

Anyone with advice about where I should proceed to from here, I am all ears.


**** ADDENDUM 2 HOURS LATER*****

There was a solution after all. My wife has a few connections in the government and after a short series of phone calls they began to listen. The police actually called me and asked me to report to the local police station so they could process my report.

When I arrived the officers had not yet been informed, and starred at me in the same surly manner as before. The only sign of progress was that they ushered me to the "crime bureau" where I sat down in front of yet another man to explain my story.

He looked at me with dead eyes, yawned and said that I should come back in six days and maybe they would have time to talk to me then. As far as I could see the man had been simply biding his time in his office--not exactly in the middle of an important case.

But then my phone rang again, and the person on the other end said that a high-ranking officer was on his way. Apparently my wife's connection is pretty good. On hearing the name of the incoming officer, the man in front of me transformed. He brought me into yet another room and immediately began processing the report. All he had to do was photocopy and stamp the piece of paper I had written out long hand earlier that day, but hey, it is all I needed, anyway.

So why does it take so much effort just to file a report? Was it sheer laziness, or was it that they needed an outlet to express their authority?

If I didn't have connections would that mean I would have been out of luck? What about all the people in this world who actually need the police to...gasp...help them when they are in trouble. Would someone who was raped have to wait six days to file a report? Would a drunk driver not be charged until he had over a week to sober up? This incident just doesn't sit right with me.